Refining Love

Tidy. Most people like to live and show a tidy life as a trophy case on display. Behind a spotless glass the trophies are untouchable, unmoved and on display for all to admire. The proud accomplishments throughout life that have become memorials of achievement. However, the trophy case cannot share the stories that are more impressive than the piece of metal. And, most often, while interested eyes look through the glass case, they may not know the coach who carried the team to victory. They most certainly may  not know of all of the failed attempts. All of the pain. All of the tears. All of the efforts, injuries, shortcomings and practices in the storms, before the victory.

You see, the stories are actually worth more than the tangible object held over heads in celebration. The stories, are the life change. The stories are where one has the opportunity to share that the victory won was because of Christ alone. The stories are His glory. The trophy, the memorial, is to remember the story. But, we have to be brave enough to share them. Because, most often I find that the story is never just about the teller, it's about the person who is listening who needed to hear it, too.

I call myself a hot mess a lot. I am a hot mess filled with His message. Many people misinterpret me when I say it. It's not derogatory in anyway. It's me embracing the messiness of a beautiful life and the redemption of Christ in me. It's a public profession of His glory despite my natural tendency to get in His way.  Calling myself a hot mess is a way of expressing, that I chose the messiness that comes with deciding not to allow certain life experiences to define me, but rather, refine me. It's a messy painful process. But, what hurts even worse, is to decide not to be refined.


 Behind the trophy case that you may have assigned me, or that I display, this girl has had so much going on beyond what the eyes can see. I have shared many of my victory stories as God has stirred in me to do. But, God has started to help me understand that sometimes it is important to share the victory story before the trophy, before the championship, before the the battle has been completely won.  That His grace is not just in the outcome. His grace IS in the midst of it all.


Our struggles may be packaged differently but our God  is not. Today I have the courage to touch on a subject that many Christians, I find, are unwilling to talk about unless they've arrived at the other side. Marriage struggles.

To me, I've been behind the looking glass of so many marriages, looking in and wondering - wow- look at all of those trophies. Now, I know better than to assume, but if I don't check myself, it is easy to allow my thoughts to drift and wonder, is my marriage the only one that is so broken?

Years of not prioritizing each other and not putting God first in our marriage, left us in a place of brokenness, resentment, hurt and anger.  However, recently, by the grace of God alone, He has provided healing and hope. He has set the road ahead not as a champion's parade but as a path out of the woods, with unexpected twists and turns, from this day until eternity. A path, to walk, hand in hand, together, out of the cover of darkness and into the light. A path, that isn't perfect, but that says, come on and walk with us. We've been there. We are here. Let's walk towards healing together. Let's embrace our perfectly imperfect marriage just as God embraces our perfectly imperfect selves.

From the stand of faith, let's say, we're not afraid to tell the world what God is doing in us and we know that our struggle is for His glory.  I don't want others to see a trophy case when they look at us. I want them to see a canvas, messy and beautiful, covered with the blood of Christ and His redemption shinning through. When others look at our marriage, I want them to say, "Praise God. Look at what Christ is doing!"

When our children look to us, they will no longer see us as fighting with each other but, fighting for each other.

The legacy we will leave together is love and the painful refining process of walking in love. Day after day after day. I know the next ten years will be richer than the last. I know that He isn't finished with us yet. And, I know this story is so worth sharing instead of just keeping it to ourselves. What the enemy was trying to kill, to steal, to destroy, he has not and will not.  Christ, who is seated on the throne, didn't need to stand. He needed us too.  And, we have. Together. We will stand firm and say it hasn't always been pretty, it hasn't been easy but, it is worth it and by God, together we will continue to fight for each other.


Christ made a way. He moved mountains. He caused walls to fall. He broke chains. He set us free and called us one. Then, he painted the skies and showed me what our new life together would look like, like the dawning of a new day.

 He then showed me the cross and gently reminded us that He, God, is a master at using the wreckage of a storm and transforming it for His glory. To shout to the world, not look at what the storm did, but instead, LOOK AT WHAT  I  CAN DO!  Death to life. Beauty from ashes. Better than rebuilt, remade. He showed me the broken remains of a dock on Litchfield Beach from Hurricane Matthew that  someone used the broken pieces to make a cross, to remind me, that all things can be remade. And, he doesn't just rebuild. He transforms. He renews. He remakes a changed marriage, a new union as one together, in Christ alone.

Instead of a trophy to hold, I have my lover's hand and a story of redemption that Christ alone has allowed which is the process of refining love.

Jesus Loves this Hot Mess

In the midst of  the mess, the struggle, the strife, and the sufferings we go through in life, it can be easy to overlook the beauty that can be found right in the center of it all. During some of the darkest seasons of my life, beauty was birthed, in pain, through the mess. Beauty from ashes. Dry bones to life. A tender sprout of new life amongst the rubble. In the aftermath of hurricane Matthew, there has been so much destruction, devastation and debris to clean up and recover from. As our town has been working through the process of restoring yards, neighborhoods and homes, I have seen beauty in the mess. While sitting with sadness for those who lost so much, I also began to move past sadness to see the potential in the pain. The potential looks different for each person. For me, in life, unrelated to a hurricane, pain  has stirred purpose, potential and a giant push to overcome.

We are given the opportunity to decide how to handle our trials, though, we are not given the choice of what trials will come. We can choose to become angry. We can choose to become bitter, resentful, damaged and undone. We can choose many paths. We can even sit with all of these emotions for a short while on our road to restoration. However, I know, chaperoning these feelings to take root in our heart for an extended period of time, will not allow progress and complete restoration.

For example, in my neighborhood there are still a few yards with huge trees that were crushed in the storm. The process of restoration has begun, but is not finished.  Chain saws are continuing to cut up the dying trees and now enormously, heavy, pieces are stacked and lined by the road awaiting equipment to come and pick them up. Branches and brown leaves are like confetti on the lawns. This particular sight is one I drive by each day. The clean up process was fast for some yards and for others it has taken time. In this particular yard that I drive by, the homeowners were fortunate in that the tree did not fall on their home. However, now, they have this huge pile of debris sitting on their lawn with the potential of killing all of their grass.

When I drive by, I don't see the mess anymore. I see the beauty of the huge logs. I see a background for pictures. I see potential. I see the beauty in the ashes. Last evening, just before dusk, I grabbed my camera and a few pieces of wearable faith that I've been working on. I ran down the road and set up shop, in their front yard, taking pictures of my bracelets in the midst of the hurricane's mess.

In addition, to the pictures, I met the homeowners as the pulled into their driveway. I'm embarrassed to say that we had never met and only live a few houses away from each other. It was a pleasure to meet Mrs. Emily and Mr. Dutch. I told them how beautiful I thought the logs were and how much I would love for my husband to figure out a way to tote them to our yard. They laughed and I'm sure thought I was a little off my rocker!  Mr. Dutch then shared a story with me about the joys of young children and the elderly. He shared a story with me that he had seen on tv about how a young child brought so much joy to an elderly man in a retirement home who was struggling with depression. Hope. Joy. Love. It's all around us if our eyes are open to it. 

This morning, I realized, that sometimes the most beautiful things are not the image captured but, rather, the story behind the lens.  (On a side note, I'm the worst photographer there ever was but I have found the courage to take pictures for my shop anyways because, for me, imperfect is better than not trying at all). So, I grabbed my camera and threw on some clothes for fear of running into neighbors, in my pajamas, while taking pictures of bracelets in the debris - oh, Lawd, now they KNOW it's true I am - the strange neighbor! But, it occurred, that there it was - in the midst of the debris, on the dawning of this new day, that God's word is true and He does mean what He says. In Psalm 30:5 it says, "For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."

I don't know what debris is clouding your thoughts and decaying your heart this morning. But, I do know the God who can make all things new. The God who can raise the dead to life. My God who makes beauty from ashes. My God who adores you and all your mess. My God who adores me and my hot mess.  God, who can look past the debris and see the potential, see the purpose and show us the way to it. The God who can use ALL things for His glory including the trials, the pain, the suffering, along with all of the goodness of your life,  for His name sake.

In our limited perspective sometimes we see this: The mess. The ashes. The dry bones. The jagged edges. The once was. 

But, I believe, along with those things, God is able to see more. He sees the beauty in the ashes. He sees the dry bones coming to life. He sees the tender sprout rising up from the rubble. He sees the potential, the purpose, the plans that are good even in the midst of the mess.

I am not a jewelry maker, or a photographer. And, until three weeks ago,  I wasn't someone in the clothing industry either.  I've spent too many years of my life telling myself who I am not. Why I am not and the reasons not to try. The beauty from my ashes continues to remind me and make me realize that I care too much not to try. My greatest concern is not about the products I am making, but the God who I am making known. If wearing a t-shirt, a bracelet or something else that speaks of who the God I serve is, then you better believe I am willing to risk what it takes to figure out how to do it. This Wednesday, will you join me? Will you show the world the beauty in your ashes? Will you wear your faith as a stance of - my life may not be perfect, but my God is.  You can wear whatever you have in your closet, a t-shirt, a cross, a bracelet...use what you already have!  I encourage you to stand, join us in #wearablefaithwedesday each week and begin a courageous conversation in the grocery store, at the gym or at work. The world needs you to help others know that there is beauty in their ashes and Jesus loves that hot mess, too. 

 Be the good. See the good. Make a difference. Make a change. Make the world a better by showing Christ in you. Make. Make something for his glory. Make His name, known. Sitting and staying in fear never changed the world before and it certainly won't now. So, get busy. Move past your fear of failure and get to work.




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