It's a ....

Thursday, September 15, 2011

We've finally reached the 20 week milestone along with the awaited anatomy ultrasound scan. For weeks we have been undecided on if we were going to find out the gender. However,  Noah has proclaimed it is a boy since we told him we were going to have a baby several weeks ago.We went to our appointment not knowing if we were going to find out or not because we were a house divided on our thoughts of finding out! I'd come to accept that I would probably not find out because I could not keep a secret like that from Rob!

At the appointment, after much surprise Rob gave me the go ahead to find out (he was hoping to find out the day we delivered)! Though I thought  about asking, "Are you sure?" I decided I'd better not hesitate and go with the thumbs up!

Turns out, Noah was right! He will have a little brother this February (or possibly late January). We are overjoyed! God is so good. His love has captured me in this moment.

                                             Here is Daddy's first picture with his two boys.

Already rough housing with his brother!!!

Our God is healer, awesome in power...

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

 

I came across this video through a friend's Facebook page today and it left me completely wrecked and awestruck by God's grace and unending love. I myself am a miracle baby born at just 28 weeks weighing 3 lbs 4 oz and dropping down to 2 lbs 9 oz soon after birth. Being born premature, I was in the NICU at Akron Children's Hospital for 3 months. The day I came home I weighed 4 lbs 15 oz.

Three years prior to my birth, my parents gave birth to Kimberly Michelle, my older sister. She was born at 26 weeks weighing 1 lb 15 oz and died three days after birth. My mom was so sick from complications she herself almost passed away. Only God could bring the type of healing that is needed to continue on after such a devastating loss.

Two years later, after my parents were told they could not have any more children, they went through the process to adopt my brother. Aaron was born on March 25th, 1981 and adopted by our parents around 3 months old. Soon after his adoption was finalized, our parents found out they were expecting another baby. I can only wonder what their first thoughts were? Extreme fear? Sheer joy? Both? I came into the world 3 months early on March 30th, 1982 exactly one year and five days after my brother. 

Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you where ever you go."

Now a mother myself, I have thought many times of my mother's heart, her love for all of her children and the loss she experienced. I have thought so much of my dad and how painful it must of been for him to lose his little girl then almost lose his wife. I think about God's great mercy on us and the life he has given to us. I think about my own journey of becoming a mother.

We lost our first baby due to a miscarriage in the 8th week of pregnancy in November of 2007. Then, in December 2008 we were overjoyed and blessed to welcome our son, Noah. He has brought more joy to our lives than we had ever experienced before. He has shown us what it means to love unconditionally, unselfishly, and with a gracious heart. We lost our second baby to a miscarriage in August 2010 around 8 weeks. Then, in March of 2011, we lost our third baby miscarrying in the 9th week of pregnancy. We are now expecting again and are 20 weeks along. Through our suffering at the repeated loss of life, we also found such great gratitude and appreciation in the life of our son. The third miscarriage was especially difficult on us physically and emotionally. I ended up having to have a D&C procedure, then a second D&C procedure a week later due to complications. During this time I journaled my prayers and dealt with great anger at God. While speaking to my pastor, he brought healing through his powerful words. He assured me that life, eternal life, begins at conception. God has created a life. That baby already fully exists spiritually. When a baby does not make it to birth, in a way it is an amazing gift to them because they go straight from their mother's womb to the heart of God. They only know two places, their mother's womb and the heart of God. It is the farthest thing from thinking, "what did I do wrong, what's wrong with me?" When understanding it differently, it made me feel like God chose me to carry these babies that he would bring straight to him.

Though I hope to not experience the loss of another baby ever again, I know through Jeremiah 29:11 that he has "plans to prosper (me) and not to harm (me), plans to give me hope for a future. This current pregnancy has been a constant reminder of God's great love and affection towards us. We have received incredible care through our physicians and have had an extremely healthy pregnancy. I share this today in hopes that someone reading this will find comfort in it through God's grace. It is astounding the number of woman who have had great difficulty in conceiving, carrying or birthing a child (children). However, I know a sovereign God whose strength is greater, awesome in power and who is higher than any other.

In Him, I put my hope.

Psalm 107: 28-31 Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men.

I thank Him for the awesome testimony that this video is to so many families in our world. I thank Him for the life he has created inside of me, for the 20 weeks I've had to carry this precious child already and for the hope of a lifetime of caring for this child of God.

Bringing Life into Focus for the Little One

Over the past few months, I've noticed the little one making adaptations to see things and having a unique desire for all things to be up close and personal! For example, books literally on the tip of his nose, standing inches away from the T.V and bringing his face right up to anything he wanted to observe more closely. I began to recognize that it wasn't just him being cute or inquisitive - he couldn't see! After asking around, I called and made an appointment to see a optometrist in our area that specializes in pediatrics. I was certain he would need reading glasses and on down the road we would go.

The small office was very accommodating for my little tornado of a toddler who thought all things his level were for playing with and all who worked there were there to play with him! They truly were so patient and exceptionally good with him! They had a children's waiting room with a train table and several toys including a Mr. Potato Head. While playing with "Mr. Tater" as he called him, we discovered he had glasses! The little one insisted on bringing his stuffed monkey to the appointment so we took the time to give him an eye exam while we waited. Check out monkey's new purple glasses (borrowed from Mr. Tater head).

After a long afternoon of tests and an eye examination we realized that our little one's vision was far worse than we expected. His prescription is extremely strong (+9) and will need a very thick lens. When someone else looks at a person wearing thick lensed glasses, the eyes appear magnified through the lens. I am some what apprehensive of how the lenses will change his appearance. However, excited that his little world is going to look so differently now! His tolerance for the doctor's office was fading and we decided to return the next day to look at glasses.

He tried on a pair of glasses that fit his face really well, however the lenses were much, much thinner than his prescription will be so it's kind of hard to visualize what they will look like with the correct lens. We also tried on "toddler friendly" (Julbo Brand) lenses that resemble goggles more than glasses. They are extremely durable and have a elastic pull cord (like sunglasses) to keep them on. But, I don't think I'm ready for those....

Anyway, we are going to follow up with his pediatrician just as precaution for his overall health. I am surprised by how upsetting this has been for me. Glasses are glasses, not that big of deal especially considering well, his mom, dad and grandparents all wear them so odds were he would too! But such extremely poor vision, at such a young age, is very concerning for me. I wasn't prepared to hear how bad his eyes were.

All this to say, this process has made my heart ache for families who go through major health issues with their children. Ours, thankfully, is not a major issue but it has still upset me. Good health is such a gift and something that we should give thanks for everyday.