The Comeback

Several weeks ago my heart was heavy and so was the number on my scale. I decided I needed to make some changes in my life, starting with choosing to focus on who God says I am, rather than my own deceiving self image in the mirror. I am thankful that God has started a beautiful transformation in me. After many  months of sleepless nights, dreaming with eyes wide open and a stirring in my heart, God has turned my feelings of "stuck" into being still, to hear His voice.

He has turned my struggles, my hot mess, into a message for His glory. In rebirthing my blog, I hope to connect with and empower others to seek the One who restores all things. The one who uses broken people. The one who allows for rescued people to rescue people. The one whose favor lasts forever, not by behaving but by believing in the One true God whose righteousness is in me. 

For it is written, "Yet this I call to mind and there I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him. The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him..." Lamentations 3:21-25

A day after my 34th birthday, I woke up with this on my heart and wrote it down:

"My heart is heavy for this Coastal region and the number of women (including myself) that feel such an immense pressure to have a perfect body. I feel so compelled to speak truth, not only to myself, but to those around me who are healthy and fit yet are unsatisfied with their pant size. I want to speak to those of you who feel a great sense of anxiety with the impending swimsuit season. 

I am certain there are others who, like me, are finding themselves a bit heavier on the scale than you are used too and fighting back in the gym and in the kitchen. However, are you doing it in grace? 

What has the past year dealt to you that leads you to where you are? Be graceful and merciful to yourself. Today at the gym while doing core exercises I felt so weak that I wanted to cry. Than I remembered that I had a hysterectomy less than 3 months ago and I started to rise up inside with a holy indignation at Satan for stealing my joy. My scars reflect strength, not weakness. My weight not does determine my worth. 

I am so tired of talking about weight and body image in social circles. I want to be healthy but more than that I want to be holy. Girls, God has called us to more than a skewed image in a mirror. We are wonderfully and perfectly made. Let's start talking about that. Let's start encouraging each other to be wonderfully made in Christ's image. To be strong and courageous. To be more than we can ask or imagine. I am more than a number on a scale. I am more than any swimsuit I put on. I am more than a conversation about my body or my weight. I am wonderfully and perfectly made. And, guess what, so are you. Let's start spurring each other on towards that."

This was the catalyst for a 21 Day #StrongandCourageousToday conversation on Facebook and Instagram as a way to help women identify strength and courage in each other! In the midst of those 21 days, I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to start writing again. I humbly ask that you excuse my grammatical    errors, typos and skipped days. My prayer is that God's words will cover this blog and give many women a platform to share the mighty way that our great God transforms our Hot Mess into something beautiful. 

One 39 Fourteen is a reminder to remember how the God of the universe chose to make you and me, "I praise you because I am wonderfully and fearfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14