Unhinged

Dangly earrings are nice. I like how they sway and say, "Look at me! " I do not like when my tailgate hinges resemble earrings. I do not like how my perfectly planned sleep-in-Saturday began at 5:15 with "MOOOOOOOMMMM, I think I am going to throw up." I do not like when God allows me the opportunity to walk in what I say I believe when it is inconvenient, uncomfortable, and expensive.

This morning was exactly that. This morning began at 5:15 with upset tummies and early risers. Thankfully, as stomaches calmed and the sun rose we began to get ready to head out for soccer team pictures at 9:30. Early morning Paw Patrol and Sugary cereal seems to be the cure-all for any ailment except tired parenting.

Being the ever prompt family that we have become, at 9:15 we were headed out the door for team pictures at 9:30 (of which my husband is the Coach). I had packed the chairs, cleats, snacks and all things needed for a short jaunt to the soccer fields for the morning. I ran back inside to grab jackets because of the cool morning we were having at the beach. I left the tailgate open, garage door up...and thought it would just be a quick minute until we were headed to the fields.

Moments later I hear screaming in the garage. I hear in juvenile voices, "Put it up!", "Stop!",  "Put it down!" Followed by the sound of crushing metal. Oh dear. I came out of find my #paidfor car's  tailgate wedged in my hurricane proof 1,000 pound garage door with the hinges dangling like earrings from the top.

I don't have a picture to share because in that moment I wasn't thinking, "Ghee, God, could use this to teach me something today!" I was thinking that I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs until I no longer had breathe at what my boys had done to my car in their On/Off game with the garage door and my tailgate. I wanted to ask them how it is they manage to destroy all of the nice things we have in our home?! I wanted to tell them how much time I would have to sacrifice in the repairs of the tailgate and how expensive their little boo-boo would be! Instead, I thought of the sweet mama who was featured as a guest blogger just today. I thought of her words and her real expressions of the heart in dealing with anger. So, when I wanted to scream and cuss at what had been done to my car in a few short minutes, I turned around after seeing my car without saying a word, went inside, sat down and started to pray. It didn't change the anger I was feeling in that moment but it did spare my children from the rage I was feeling. It spared two little boys emotional well-belong, who had no idea how they had caused so much damage in just a few short minutes.

My husband managed to "un-stick" my tailgate from the garage door. It came down with a loud, crashing, thud..dangling "unhinged" earrings and all. It managed to stay latched and shut. Only a small dent to tell the tale of the actual damage of my tailgate. He warned not to lift the tailgate for anything and that he would meet me at the soccer fields.

The boys left in apologetic tears, despite neither Rob nor I actually speaking a word of what had happened. It appears as though they have learned to read the expression on my face as clearly as the words I speak.

Once they were gone, I took the opportunity to tell my empty house and God exactly how angry I was and why I was so angry about the circumstances of the morning. Unfortunately, I didn't feel any better after yelling about it so I was thankful there was no one there to receive my harsh words.

Once I arrived at the soccer field, a few sweet Mama friends were there to receive me and had been warned by Noah that "he broke the car and the garage" this morning. We had a good laugh, and suddenly, I felt better.

Then I gave over my anger to the Lord. My car is still broken. Unhinged. It's going to be expensive. It's going to be time consuming. And, it sucks. If I allowed myself, I would still be angry about it. But, truth me told, in the up/down tailgate commotion, my boys had no idea the damage being done. Screaming at them would not undo what had already occurred. It would have only made me feel worse about how the day began.  They understood how I was feeling without saying a word.

My saving grace came because a friend was brave enough to talk about dealing with her own anger. My self control this morning came from recalling her words. When emotion had been contained, I was able to talk with my boys and tell them that accidents happen but that this particular accident was going to be expensive. I told them that they would be helping to to offset the cost. Tonight, on our prayer wall, I found this:

So, we aren't the best spellers but Lord knows we can pray! Noah told the devil to leave us alone. :) And, as the wise boy that he is, he thought he better pray about how he was going to help pay for the tailgate repairs!  I suppose I am thankful that he isn't praying about how his mom screamed and yelled at him. I will count that as a win today in the midst of the crushed metal, early rising, think-I'm-going-to-vomit Saturday we've had at the Edwards home today.

I share this to say, someone needs to hear your story today. Be brave. Be a guest blogger. You don't know how your testimony will shape someone's day, someone's children, someone's tomorrow.